Good for a Laugh
November 11th, 2007 by Bob Bly
One of my pet peeves is copywriters who don’t think about the meaning of the words they write.
For instance: a TV commercial for an over-the-counter sleeping pill I saw today said “drowsiness” may be a side effect of taking the pill.
Isn’t that like saying death is a side effect of being executed?
The whole point of a sleeping pill is to make you fall asleep.
Before you fall asleep, you have to become drowsy.
It isn’t a side effect: it’s the benefit of the product.
In my opinion, sloppy thinking leading to sloppy writing.
Your thoughts?
This entry was posted on Sunday, November 11th, 2007 at 12:31 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
You are right. Absolutely.
PS. Your blog is read in Russia. With pleasure.
November 13th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Side effects and benefits
Copywriting guru Bob Bly has posted a funny example of what happens when writers don’t think about the meaning of the words they write. Check it out.
November 13th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Dr. Robert Buckman collects treasures like these. His examples include: 1) on a pack of airplane peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts; and 2) on chainsaw instructions: Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your genitals.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
I don’t remember when this was, but I recall seeing something on television where they were making fun of these kinds of things. One was a warning on a curling iron that said “Do not use while sleeping.” They showed a woman asleep in bed, her hand actively twisting and curling the iron through her hair completely independent of her sleeping body. True, this isn’t exactly a copy fox pass, since the warning was no doubt intended to mean that people shouldn’t fall asleep with the curling iron connected to their hair, but the image of the sleeping woman and conscious hand working the curling iron was amusing. Might have been from that old “funny newspaper headlines and advertisements” segment Johnny Carson used to do.
November 13th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
don’t be too quick to blame the copywriter … government regulation and/or fear of litigation probably forced them to include the line. my favorite commercial along these lines was one where a guy is driving a recreational vehicle … he sees a porsche go by that attracts his attention … so he gets up from the driver’s seat and walks to the back of the RV to look out the back window at the porsche … you guessed it … a little line at the bottom of the screen says, “Don’t attempt this while driving a recreational vehicle”
November 13th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I’ve always wondered. At what point did editorial gatekeepers decide people were too stupid to void doing obviously stupid things?
I mean, there was a point in the past where the exchange went something like this:
DECISION MAKER: We should include a line on a bag of peanuts that says “includes peanuts.”
SOME WRITER: Why? Aren’t they smart enough to figure our that a bag of peanuts includes peanuts!?”
DECISION MAKER: Someone may sue us if we leave it off.
SOME WRITE: So what? They’d lose. The judge would tell them that any pre-schooler could figure it out.
DECISION MAKER: You’re right. People aren’t that stupid. Leave it off
So, at what point in advertising ages past did this happen?
DECISION MAKER: We should include a line on a bag of peanuts that says “includes peanuts.”
SOME WRITER: OMG(osh), you’re right! People might sue us!
DECISION MAKER: And a judge would amazingly rule in their favor! Include the no-brainer disclaimer.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Guaranteed that’s the legal department talking. But I can top that.
On a box of Christmas lights I have, there is a warning that reads, and I quote, “For indoor or outdoor use ONLY!”
Every year I pull those out and try to imagine what transdimensional disaster the legal department of that company is trying to avoid. But I’m careful to use them indoors or outdoors ONLY.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Somebody once told me that every time you see a stupid warning on product packaging, someone’s won a lawsuit over just that issue.
I don’t know if what happened here was litigation fear or an inane FDA rule, but I can imagine the writer(s) who had to write this alternately laughing and cringing.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:19 am
Dean: Comic Steve Wright says: “I walked past the supermarket the other day. The sign said WE SELL KOSHER AND NON-KOSHER FOOD. I went inside and asked the manager: ‘What else is there?’”
November 14th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Bob: That brings to mind something I’ve always raised an eyebrow at when I have to use it in DM pieces…”free gift.” I mean, what other kind of gifts are there?
November 14th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Not really. Read a peanut butter jar label. It says contain peanuts. You have to make certain disclosures, despite the obvious, when dealing with products of this matter.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Skp: A package label is different than a commercial or ad. It would be absurd to advertise “Skippy contains peanuts!” However, you might say “Skippy contains only fresh roasted Columbian peanuts” to differentiate it from other peanut butters that do not roast the nuts or do not use the finest nuts.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I wonder if they meant that subsequent to waking up you may still feel drowsy. Your point still rings true though: sloppy writing leads to confusion.
Love you book, by the way, Becoming a Recognised Authority.
Cheers from DownUnder.
November 15th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Thanks, Daniel. This might also interest you: http://www.becomeaninstantguru.com/
November 16th, 2007 at 8:59 am
[…] Good for a Laugh from Bob Bly Sloppy writing leads to confusion. An over-the-counter sleeping pill says “drowsiness” may be a side effect of taking the pill. I’m going to agree with Bob on this one. I sure hope drowsiness is a side effect of the sleeping pill. […]
November 16th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
G’day Bob. Thanks for the link to www.becomeaninstantguru.com … I’m just wondering how the content is different from the book that I already have? Seems to cover the same territory, no?
db-dwnundr.
November 17th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
It was recorded years after the book was written, so of course, my knowledge increased and the new stuff I learned is in the audio.
November 17th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
www.becomeaninstantguru.com … Hmmm risk-free, ay? You interest me strangely, Obi Wan …
November 19th, 2007 at 8:36 am
DB: Hold on to the book, though. It just went out of print, and used copies are selling on amazon.com for up to $1,000!
December 5th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
[…] This is the cached version of http://www.bly.com/blog/?p=296 We are neither affiliated with the authors of this page nor responsible for its content. […]
January 14th, 2008 at 2:15 am
I will mention that I have used over-the-counter sleep pills and the Drowsy/groggy feeling the Next Morning has made them a rather bad choice for me.
It takes me two hours to wake up even in a good situation! I Don’t need sleep pills to make it worse. So, that warning might not be too off-base.