November 27th, 2007 by Bob Bly
Yet another example of a copywriter not choosing words carefully is the radio commercial I heard today for PC Richards, a local electronics retailer.
The offer promoted in this commercial is free high-definition (HD) channels on I/O cable when you buy a new HDTV from PC Richards.
The copy suggests that with the money you save getting free cable, “you can spend a little more on a TV.”
We get what they mean, but somehow, it came out wrong. What consumer buying a TV wants to spend more money on it?
My rewrite: “With the money you save getting free cable, you’ll be able to afford the TV you really want — even that new wide-screen for watching the game this Sunday.”
What do you think of my rewrite — better, worse, or neutral?
Do you agree that the original “you can spend more” missed the mark?
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