Comments on: Which Headline Worked Best?

By: mai

mai — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:00:59 +0000

for me as a commoner with a common mind, i will probably take a look at A than B. A doesn’t sound as boring as B.

By: Bob Bly

Bob Bly — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:23:53 +0000

Nvestgrrl: almost ALL the purveyors of trading software and systems use headlines that promise big gains and profits in specific percentage and dollar amounts. Therefore, when the reader gets your mailing, he has heard it 100 times before and his B.S. radar is triggered. Headline A worked because it complete disarms the reader — agreeing with what he is thinking when he gets your mailing (that most systems don’t work) and therefore making him trust you more. You cannot say that “A” did not work like gangbusters. I know for a fact it did, because I collected many thousands of dollars in royalties for writing it.

By: Ken Norkin - Freelance Copywriter

Ken Norkin - Freelance Copywriter — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:08:42 +0000

I was going to vote for A since B is not believeable, especially in light of recent history.

But if someone here knows that a variation of B has been used successfully by some direct marketer, I can’t argue with results.

However, I would ask: when you say that one headline tested better than another, was the headline the only difference between the pieces being tested? Or was the copy also different — which I would think it would need to be in order to pay off the claim of the headline.

Ken

By: Nvestgrrl

Nvestgrrl — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:25:02 +0000

In that case, the company is blatantly copying a multi-million dollar mailer. (No objections here.)

But the fact remains, the more specific headlines have outpulled for that product. I believe it is because users of this type of system are very data and statistics-oriented. Facts are like chocolate truffles for them. And the headline does not stand alone — it is accompanied by a detailed chart with callouts. A veritable orgy of information for systems traders.

I happened on your post here because I’m trying to take the temperature of investment promo respondants right now. Are we in a dominantly emotion or dominantly benefit phase for investment direct response? There’s anger in the markets, but I know of a few email and mail controls that are quite benefit-specific.

By: Bob Bly

Bob Bly — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:11:45 +0000

We are surely not talking about the same company. And for the company that mailed A against its control, I know for a fact that it tripled sales and became the new control.

By: Nvestgrrl

Nvestgrrl — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:56:34 +0000

I don’t think your results are correct, Bob. A variation of headline ‘B’ has been used repeatedly for several years now, with aggressive testing against it. The more specific the head, the better it pulled. Especially when combined with a graph. The only way I would believe ‘A’ won is if the ‘B’ variations finally wore out. This company is a very aggressive mailer.

By: Bob Bly

Bob Bly — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:20:46 +0000

Answer: These 2 headlines were not split test. But “A” was tested against a positive headline very similar to “B.” Results: A generate 3X more orders than B. Reason: it resonates with the skepticism the prospect already has in his head about trading systems that make big claims and then don’t deliver.

By: Michael Lockyear

Michael Lockyear — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:41:39 +0000

Definitely B.

The reason is simple: A is negative, while B is positive. Readers are probably more interested in making profit(B) than learning how the will lose money (A).

That said, I would probably hit the spam button if an email arrived in my inbox with either headline as the subject (even if I had opted it).

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:15:59 +0000

B for sure.

A is a curiosity headline. for someone who wants to make money on the markets the headline doesn’t address if they do have a solution or not. It’s not totally on target. If I read that headline I’d probably put it aside thinking “maybe I’ll read that later” then forget about it.

B is a benefit headline with specifics (“market timing system”). They claim to have a solution and can explain how it works. For someone who wants to make money on the market… it promises exactly the kind of thing they’re looking for.

By: Art Derfall

Art Derfall — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:24:40 +0000

A reads “only” and “most” don’t and never will, leaving open the possibility that theirs does with an expectation of reasons why.

B treads into dangerous claims – “never will”, which should raise the interest of the SEC if it has jurisdiction, but that statement would get most investors to want to know why. It’s basically guaranteeing a return on your investment. I think B would win, just to read what backs up the over-the-top claim.

By the way… a great book that will be be republished with updates in April – “How to Make Money in Stocks” by William O’Neil. It combines technical analysis (market timing via the charts)with fundamentals. His proteges usually win stock picking contests.