August 21st, 2009 by Bob Bly
TQ, a friend of many years, does not understand a rule I live by, which is: never give unsolicited advice.
Here are 5 reasons why I do not give unsolicited advice — and why I am not crazy about getting it, either:
1 — If other people really wanted your advice, they would ask for it.
2 — People don’t value advice unless they seek it out. And even then, they don’t really value advice all that much unless they PAY for it.
3 — The giver of unsolicited advice often makes the erroneous assumption that the receiver has goofed because of lack of knowledge.
What the giver does not realize is that the receiver either (a) does not agree with the giver’s opinion or (b) has made the error because of lack of time — or because fixing it is not a priority.
4–The giver of unsolicited advice may claim his motive is purely to be helpful, but the action is almost always driven in part by a conceited desire to show off (what he perceives as) his superior knowledge.
As such, it comes across as argumentative, arrogant, and annoying — not kind, friendly, and helpful.
5 — The advice giver erroneously assumes that the topic in question is a priority to the recipient.
In fact, it may not be a priority. Often, it is not even the least bit important.
This entry was posted on Friday, August 21st, 2009 at 4:29 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.