|
|
|
THE KEY TO
GREAT INQUIRY FULFILLMENT by Robert Bly Suppose you had responded to an advertisement from a manufacturer of
forged steel valves and requested more information. How would you react to this
reply? Dear Sir: Chemical Equipment magazine has informed us of your interest
in our line of valves for the chemical
process industry. Enclosed please find the literature you requested. We will
await with interest your specific inquiry. Sincerely, Joe Jones, Sales Manger XYZ Valve Corporation That letter doesn’t call for action,
build trust in the letter writer or tell the reader why he should want to buy
valves from XYZ. There’s no salesmanship in it, just a blunt acknowledgment
that an inquiry has been made fulfillment package that should help move the
sale along will not. The tragedy is most letters mailed
to fulfill business/industrial inquiries are just about as bad. Too many
marketers treat a cover letter as an afterthought, once the pros at the ad
agency have written the “important” elements of the communications program -
ads, brochures, and catalogues. That’s a big mistake. As creative
consultant Sig Rosenblum aptly puts it, “Ads go through a long process of
rough, comps, and finished art. But those are just devices to put ideas into
the reader’s mind. Your simple letters can carry powerful ideas just as easily
as your complex ads.” Do they? Circle some bingo card
numbers and see for yourself. The responses you receive will include weak,
dreary cover letters that rely on hackneyed expressions like “enclose please
find,” “pursuant to your request,” and the ever-boring “ as per your inquiry.”
That’s not selling. Which clichés substitute for copy that expresses a
company’s desire to help prospects solve problems, hot leads can quickly turn
cold. Part of the problem is that
nonwriters such as product mangers and engineers often write cover letters.
Management reasons that the copywriter’s time is better spent on ads and
collateral. Yet the letter provides the toughest writing challenge. It must sell
on words alone, without the embellishment of color, photos, or artwork. Seven Letters Tips The key to successful cover letters?
Be friendly, courteous, and helpful. Tell the reader how you will help him
solve his problem better, faster, or cheaper than the competition. Here are
seven letter writing tips: 1. Thank the prospect for the lead.
“Thanks for your interest” is a common opener. It may be becoming a cliche. But
it’s still a necessary courtesy. 2. Highlight key sales points. Don’t
try to summarize your sales literature, but instead pick one or two of the
important sales points and emphasize them in your letter. Letters are handy
supplements to literature because they can include any recent developments that
a color brochure, with its longer life, may not reflect. Your letter can focus
on a recent case history, a new application, a product improvement, or an
addition to your manufacturing facility. If you must include more than two or
three sales points, you can use “bullets” or numbers to set them apart (as this
article does). Here’s a sample from the Spartan Co.: Dear
Mr. Guterl: Thanks for your interest in our Dry
S02 Scrubbing Systems for industrial and utility air pollution control. Unlike conventional “wet” Dry Scrubbing
removes chemical and particulate waste products as a free-flowing dry powder
that is easy to handle and safe to dispose of. The system produces no sludge-so
you don’t need expensive thickeners, clarifies, or other wastewater treatment
equipment. In addition to eliminating the
sludge problem, Dry Scrubbing give you these advantages: ·
Less
energy consumption ·
Lower
operating and capital costs ·
High
system reliability; less maintenance ·
No
reheat required The enclosed brochure provides a fairly
complete description of how the system works. Our representative in your area,
listed on the “Spartan Reps” sheet, will be happy to answer your questions. Sincerely, Gary Blake, Product Manger Dry Scrubbing Systems Notice how the writer structured the
letter to give one feature (“no sludge”) top billing, while still touching
lightly upon other important advantages of the system. The letter makes some
sales points and whets the reader’s interest in the literature he requested. 3. Tell the reader about the next
step in the buying process. Make it easy for him or her. A portion of a good
cover letter illustrates the point. The writer suggests a course of action
(sending in a material sample for evaluation) that can solve the customer’s
problem and result in the sale of a
mineral pelletizer: The
key question, of course, is the cost of equipment to handle the volume required
at your plant. Because the capacity of our Pelletizers will vary slightly with
the particulates involved, well be glad to take a look at a random five gallon
sample of your material. We’ll evaluate it and get back to you with our
equipment recommendation. If you will note with your sample the size pellets
you prefer and the volume you wish to handle, we can give you an estimate of
the cost involved. From this point on we can do an exploratory pelletizing
test, a full day’s test run or will rent you a production machine with an
option to purchase. You can see f or yourself how efficiently it works and how
easy it is to use. Of course the equipment can be purchased outright too. 4.
Write in a conversational tone. Your sales letter is communication from one
human being to another-not from one corporate entity to the next. Warmth,
humor, understanding, and an eagerness to be helpful are what make you the
super salesperson you are. Why not endow your letters with
those same positive qualities? Note how the letter above uses a
casual almost folksy tone to win the reader’s confidence and attention. CLUMSY FAVORITES One way to achieve an easy, natural
style is to eliminate “whiskers” from your writing-those hackneyed expressions
that drain the life and personality from sales letters. Antiquated phrases from
the vocabulary of the bureaucrat make a person (and his company) come across as
a stuffed shirt. Here are 10 hackneyed expressions to
avoid: ·
Enclosed
please find... The reader can find it on his own. Just say “I’m enclosing”
or “Here is.” ·
When time permits... Poetic, but inaccurate. Time doesn’t
permit; people do. ·
Please don’t hesitate to
call. You really mean “feel free to call.” ·
We are this date in receipt
of... Say instead, “Today we received.” ·
As per your request... ·
Of even date... Translation: “today.” ·
Pursuant to your orders... That’s too formal. Just say, “As you
requested,” or “Following your instructions.” ·
Whereas.
. . Use “where” or “while.” ·
Kindly advise... As opposed to “unkindly”? It’s
unnecessary. ·
Hitherto, whereby, thereby,
herein, therein, thereof, heretofore... Avoid those archaic, stilted words. 5.
Have a “you orientation.” Good letters writers know that the word “you” may
well be the most important word in their vocabulary. A “you” orientation means
thinking about what the reader needs, wants, and desires. It means not tooting
your own horn. It means translating the technical features of a product into
benefits that help the reader do his job, serve his customers, and please his
boss. And, it means addressing the reader directly as “you.” Remember, a sales
letter is a personal communication, not a cold recitation of scientific
technicalities. 6.
Be concise. Use small words and short sentences. And break the writing up into
many short paragraphs. Brevity makes writing easy to read. Run-on sentences and
long chunks of unbroken text bore and intimidate readers. It’s best to get to the point in the
fewest words possible. Here’s how the Acme Slide Rule Co. gets its message
across in just two tightly written paragraphs: Dear Ms. Sherman: Thanks for your interest in the Acme Slide Rule. It has been
used by thousands of scientists, technicians, and engineers throughout the
world. We feel that you, too, will find it a handy reference tool in your work.
The Slide Rules are $10.00 each in quantities of under 100, or
$8.00 in lots of 100 or more. If you’d like to obtain one or more of the Slide
Rules, just send your check or money order for the number you desire. We will
see to it that your order is handled promptly. Cordially, S.D. Jameson Customer Service Representative 7.
Make it look professional. Type the letter on a good electric typewriter.
Proofread to eliminate errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar, and content.
Or reproduce the letter on your stationery using a high-quality offset press. A WORD ON BOUNCE-BACK In addition to the literature and cover letter, a fulfillment package
should contain a reply element. It can be a specification sheet, an order form
or a questionnaire known as the bounce-back card. Bounce-backs are postage-paid
postcards addressed to the advertiser. They ask the prospect to qualify himself
by answering a few questions. Typically, a bounce-back question-naire asks the
prospect’s phone number, name, and address, the name and size of his company,
whether he specifies or recommends a particular type of product, current buying
plans, applications, the names of others in the company involved in the buying decision, whether the prospect
currently uses the advertiser’s products or those of a competitor, whether the
prospect wants a salesperson to call and whether the inquiry is for an
immediate need, a future need, or reference information only. Bounce-back postcards may be
separate from the rest of the package, or they may be printed as tear-out
inserts in brochures and catalogs. Some companies comb combine the bounce-back
questionnaire, cover letter copy and catalog information on a single sheet. Most industrial marketing experts
agree that the bounce-back is an integral part of the fulfillment package. “If
you’re not contacting the respondent personally, you should have a bounce-back
card,” says Robert L. Sieghardt, president of Professional Sales Support, a
company that screens sales leads by telephone. Mr. Sieghardt says the 55% of
prospects will respond with a bounce-back card after a series of three mailings
in addition to the initial mailing. Some advertisers respond to
inquiries by mailing a bounce-back card without an accompanying piece of
literature. They hope to avoid sending expensive sales brochures to students, competitors,
brochure collectors, and other nonprospects. But other firms criticize the
practice because it delays getting information to respondents by creating an
additional and unnecessary step in the sales sequence. “I think you’re trying to kill
response by not sending a brochure,” says Larry Whisehant, advertising manger
of Koch Engineering, a manufacturer of chemical equipment. “The proper
literature-what the respondent is asking for-is the most important of the package.” Mr. Sieghardt agrees: “By trying to screen leads with the bounce-back,
manufacturers are asking prospects to do some of their work for them.” No two marketers agree on what makes the perfect
fulfillment package. But one thing is clear: the advertiser who casually tosses
a brochure in the mail with a hastily dictated cover note is wasting sales
opportunities. The entire package must be designed
to generate action that leads to a sale. And to accomplish that, you need three
things: a clear, crisp cover letter that motivates prospects; a brochure that
informs them; and a bounce-back or other reply element that makes it easy for
them to respond. |
