Here’s a secret working Internet information marketers all know that newbies don’t: you will know within the first 10 minutes whether your e-mail marketing message for that day is going to be a winner or a loser.

For instance, let’s say, for your list, your successful e-mails generate, on average, 50 to 100 orders within 48 hours.

If an e-mail is going to be successful, you will get 5% to 7% of your orders within 10 minutes or so after you distribute the e-mail to your list.

Therefore, if you check your e-mail 10 minutes after the e-mail distributes, and you find half a dozen or so orders have come in right away, the e-mail blast is going to produce nice sales.

On the other hand, if 10 to 15 minutes pass and you have no orders … or just one or two orders … it will probably be a bomb.

Every e-mail marketer looks for a “mini-flood” — a group of immediate orders — a few minutes after distributing the e-mail.

We know if there’s a half a dozen orders we’re all right, but if there is none or one, we’re going to take a bath that day.

Nobody writes about this, as far as I can see, but everyone I talk with acknowledges it is so.

Have you had similar experience? Or are early orders not a real indicator in your business?

As it happens, I know a lot of rich people ? a slew of hard-driving individuals whose wealth and accomplishments put the rest of the population to shame.

I?ve also spent a lot of my life ? too much, in fact ? comparing myself to them ? and of course, coming up short.

So I?m not going to do it any more.

And you neither should you.

If you judge yourself only in comparison to others ? who they are, what they have, what they?ve done ? you can always find someone who outperforms you in any given area.

As Max Ehrlich observed in his 1923 essay Desiradata, ?There will always be those both greater and lesser than you.?

We obsess about those who are ?greater? ? and feel bad that we don?t measure up to their success and accomplishments.

Psychologists call this unhealthy obsession ?compare despair.?

So what can you do about it?

To begin with, stop comparing yourself to others ? because unless you?re Bill Gates, there?s always someone who makes more money than you.

Unless you?re George Clooney or Jessica Alba, there?s always someone either more famous ? or better looking ? or both.

So quit worrying about how you stack up against other people.

Instead, figure out what?s important to you ? helping others in need, writing good books or great copy, being a terrific parent, becoming a guru in your industry or market niche, building an Internet marketing business lucrative enough that you can quit your job, or giving your clients a level of service they can?t get anywhere else.

Then, when you know you?ve made the absolute best effort you can in pursuit of these objectives ? take a minute to feel good about yourself.

After all, you deserve it.

P.S. Am I a lone weirdo in the wilderness always comparing myself to those who are richer and more successful than I am? Or do you too ever indulge in “compare despair”?

I am not a huge fan of copy pre-testing with focus groups, surveys, or other methods soliciting subjective opinions.

It’s not that these opinions aren’t interesting. They are. It’s that what people SAY they like in advertising vs. what they actually respond to are two different things.

But let’s try it. Below are 3 possible headlines for a course on getting started in Internet information marketing.

Which do you like best — and why?

A–Make $4,000 a week on the Internet.

B–Make $1 million a year on the Internet.

C–Make $1 million on the Internet in just 36 hours.

Or would you completely rewrite, and if so, what would YOUR headline be?

A motivational speaker just sent me a free review copy of his new book, published earlier this month.

A banner on the front cover proclaims the book is an “international best-seller.”

Yet when I check it online, the book is ranked #292,514 on Amazon.

Surely, if this just-published book were in fact an international bestseller, it would be at least in the top 100,000 on Amazon right now, no?

Does the author realize how silly, or at least unbelievable, his claim to bestsellerdom looks to the intelligent reader who bothers to check?

Or is his assumption that people today are so naive they will believe anything correct?

My experience, by the way, is the opposite: people are more skeptical than ever today, and their B.S. detectors have never been more accurate.

What is a “quality” sales lead?

For me, a high quality sales lead is someone who:

A–Already knows who I am.

B–Is predisposed to hiring me.

C–Does not shop for copywriting services looking for the low bid.

Of course, not all self-promotion and marketing generates sales leads of equal quality.

For my freelance copywriting services, the best sources of quality sales leads, in order, are:

1–Referrals from clients and others.

2–Marketers who know and read my books or articles (a lot of them say they also read my blog, but it is the books and articles that prompt them to call me).

3–My e-newsletter subscribers.

4–People who have attended one of my seminars or talks.

5–Direct mail-generated leads.

Of these, the referrals and book readers are nearly neck and neck for the top spot.

The marketing channels that generate the LOWEST quality sales leads for me (price shoppers or those unschooled in the value of copy) are in order):

1–Organic search (means they are shopping for copywriters and therefore not predisposed to hire me vs. anyone else).

2–Classified or space ads in marketing publications.

3–Directories (e.g., Who’s Charging What) — they attract shoppers.

Would you rate the sources of your best and worst quality sales leads similar to me?

Or is your experience different?

Note: I did not rank PPC because I do not advertise my copywriting services online. And I don’t include social networking because I really don’t use it much, though I have started Twittering.

The problem with SEO copywriting is that the mandate to use keywords according to various rules set forth by SEO experts can result in awkward, ineffective, suboptimal copy.

“It is essential to attempt to optimize online copy for relevant keywords to achieve a better search engine placement,” writes Don Libey, a multi-channel marketing expert.

“However,” LIbey continues, “keywords aren’t necessarily the most important part of copywriting.”

He warns against keyword stuffing, the practice of cramming too many keywords into a web page.

“Your customers are the readers,” says Libey. “Never place the search engine’s needs about theirs.”

My guess is that those of you who are copywriters — even SEO copywriters — will agree with Libey, while those of you who are SEO consultants might not.

Am I right or am I wrong? What say you?

Source: Libey Multichannel Advisor, May 2009, page 8.

During a recession, many businesses experience a decrease in revenues.

Amazingly, a number are implementing what has to be the stupidest recession-fighting business strategy ever devised: charging customers MORE to make up for the lost revenue.

An article in the Daily News (4/27/09, p. 4) reports that Bobo, a Manhattan restaurant, now charges patrons a dollar for a glass of water.

They justify this by saying that the water is filtered, and the charge is for the cost of the filtering.

The same article also reports that Morton’s, a steak house, has added a $2.50 charge if you want ice in your cocktail.

Another NYC eatery has added a $5 charge for bread and butter, justifying the move by noting they have a famous baker baking their bread.

If you have heard recession-fighting business strategies stupider than these, I’d like to know what they are.

And what would you tell these restaurants if you went to eat there and found these charges on your bill (some post the charges on menus but do not have waiters warn patrons about them)?

In an episode of the Odd Couple TV show, Felix Unger once said: “When you ASSUME, you make an ASS of U and ME!”

I agree wrong assumptions can make you look like an ass … not sure it does that to the other guy.

Example: cowardly RT left a voice mail message (but not his phone #) calling me an Internet fake.

Apparently, he looked up my address at 22 E. Quackenbush Avenue, Dumont, NJ 07628 on that Google satellite service.

“You’re not RICH!” he said contemptuosly (never said I was). “Your place is a dump!”

One little problem, RT: 22 E. Quackenbush is the building where I rent an office — NOT where I live.

So you can’t tell ANYTHING about me or my success or net worth by looking at it.

See what happens when you ASSUME, and think you’re a smartie because you used Google to spy cam me?

You come off looking like an ASS … and I don’t.