The World’s Worst Wine Writer?
February 26th, 2007 by Bob Bly
In USA Today (2/23/07), wine writer Jerry Shriver recommends a 2005 Barton & Guestier “Bistro Wine” Pinot Noir.
He says: “The fruit is restrained, the texture is soft, and there’s a smidgen of that ethereal ‘Sideways’ character lurking in the bottle.”
Now, is it just me, or is this an example of terrible writing?
To me, it seems meaningless: what specific information does a reference to a movie character communicate to the reader about the taste of the wine being discussed?
It’s even less meaningful if you, like me, haven’t seen the movie and don’t know what it’s about or who the character is.
So Jerry’s writing strikes me as unclear and uninformative.
But I don’t drink wine — or see many movies.
How would YOU rate this little bit of wine criticism by Jerry — good, bad, or terrible?
And why?
This entry was posted on Monday, February 26th, 2007 at 12:52 pm and is filed under General, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 26th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I have seen the movie, enjoy a glass of wine with meals, and that description of wine still doesn’t do a thing for me.
Especially as the character whom I presume he is referring to is a troubled, bordering-on-alcholic, loserish guy.
Now, if he were to say that the taste conjures up the lush dusky, poetic beauty of California wine country as portrayed in Sideways….I might be sold.
(I’d have to think about that though)
And like you say….this only makes sense to those who saw Sideways. I’m not sure it was THAT kind of box office hit.
Although….wine lovers probably saw it, and I guess that is who is target audience is.
February 26th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
I think it’s fantastic writing, if you want to cover up for the fact that you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. “The texture is soft” a “smidgen of that ethereal…” huh? It sounds like I’m overhearing one of those guys at a cocktail party trying, dreadfully and without result, to impress a woman on a precept he has not the faintest comprehension of and believing his own b.s. Ugh…
Aren’t all liquids in liquid form soft in texture? Maybe Mr. Shriver had one too many tastes of the product before he sat down at the keys. Maybe describing wine for a living can get a little boring and he was just seeing if anybody was paying attention. Maybe he just biffed this one and the editor was sleeping on the job.
Hopefully not all of Mr. Shriver’s writing languishes in this self-assessed spiritual realm of fictional characters and this “texture of liquid is soft” non-information. (My example of terrible writing…)
Of course, I am absolutely positive that not every sentence I have written as a professional writer has come across as I have intended or hoped for. I think I need a drink. Is any of that wine left?
February 26th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Yikes. Had he been drinking when he wrote that?
February 26th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I have to say (with glee) that this excerpt is utter garbage.
I have seen the film Sideways, and whilst it’s hilarious, it did nothing to warm the wine industry to me at all.
I hate the ridiculous analogies they use to try and describe flavours, aromas etc.
I hate the posing, the snobbery, the pretentiousness of it all.
But then again, I don’t pretend to know what I’m talking about. I’m a beer man. Always have been, always will be.
But this post is about the writing, and while I’m all for using descriptive writing to get the piece to connect with the reader, this flowery nonsense is not about giving an idea to the reader about the wine at all.
It’s all about making the writer feel important and superior to the reader. And THAT, is why this is awful writing.
I think to keep reading this drivel, the reader would need to quaff AT LEAST a bottle of the aforementioned wine…
February 26th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
I have seen the movie which was very funny. But if this author thinks he’s complimenting the wine by comparing it to the wine connoisseur character in the movie, then he needs to see it again.
The main character would be more appropriately compared to a screw-off jug of Carlo Rossi than a sophisticated bottle of Pinot Noir.
February 27th, 2007 at 3:01 am
Hello?
Has anyone noticed that ALL wine writing is like this?
– Even (particularly?) the stuff on the labels.
Because what else can you say about wine, when the truth would be “tastes like a good caberet sauvingnon”, “tastes like chardonnay”, or “tastes a bit sour/sweet for my liking”?
Much more impressive to say, “Deep ruby with purple notes the Hardys No Preservatives Added Cabernet Sauvignon shows shows ripe mulberry, plum and blackcurrant flavours. This wine is freh and well structured showing blackcurrant fruit, with cigar box and white-pepper like flavour characters.” (taken from an actual wine label)
Cigar box? Mulberry?
I’ve seen how they make wine, and I can assure you, freakin’ cigar boxes don’t come into it!
Then again, maybe I’m just being an ‘anti-wine snob’.
Enjoy…
February 27th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Steve
I am quite the novice wine tasting novice (double emphasis on novice there)…but in defense of experienced wine aficionados, there are nuances in wine flavor that become apparent after awhile. Different areas of your tongue pick up different tastes.
Believe it or not, I have picked up hints of chocolate, cherry, and smokiness in wines I have tasted. I don’t know how this is even possible but it happens.
Cheese lovers are just as annoying in their obsession…lol!
February 27th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Suzanne: But I assume you have never tasted a character from a movie in your wine, right?
February 27th, 2007 at 11:06 am
I like wine. I hate flowery language. The review bores me to tears and does absolutely squat to entice me to want to try it.
February 27th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Bob: To date, no movie characters–or humans whatsoever– have turned up in my wine.
If this does happen, I most certainly do NOT want it to be the Sideways guy.
February 27th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
I have heard of wine geeks who say things like, “It tastes like Spring.” But such descriptions are highly personal.
Believe it or not, something like “Deep ruby with purple notes… ripe mulberry, plum and blackcurrant flavours…” That’s much better, and it actually means something to a wine geek.
Even the “cigar box” is useful, as it conjures up images of cedar and tobacco. No, wine has nothing to do with cigars. But wine, beer, and other fine beverages have many flavor notes that appear in none of the drink’s components. If you doubt this, and you drink wine, all you need to do is to start a wine log. You can even do this on a budget. Try different wines, and as you try each one, write down the wine’s characteristic in your log. Try to put into words the wine’s color, aroma, and flavor. And this is certainly something anyone who writes for the wine community should try.
-TimK
February 27th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
It’s just another example of an average writer trying to sound impressive. As to the description, I agree that it adds little. It does show that the writer has taste; unfortunately, it’s poor taste.
Al
http://www.alnyethelawyerguy.com
February 27th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
It’s the snobbery of wine. I imagine the thought is it makes the wine appear sophisticated. Instead, most of us are goofing on it.
But are we the intended audience? Could it be the person most likely to buy the wine thinks this babble is the level of “sophistication” they’re looking for, regardless of whether or not it makes any sense?
Kinda like trying to make sense of a too-expensive piece of art no one really understands. The person who buys it likes the psycho-babbling story behind it.
February 27th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Tim: cigar boxes are sometimes made of wood. Wine is aged in wood casks or barrels, right? If so, that may explain the reference.
March 5th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Thanks for posting this example. I agree with your comments above, Mr Bly. All widely-read critics have an audience who seeks them out precisely for what you write in your last paragraph. Spmetimes even the best of those critics rely on a kind of shorthand to convey their thoughts. Their loyal readers may say, “I know exactly what you mean.”–and perhaps they do. But a journalist’s responsibility is to convey meaning to the entire circulation. A novice wine drinker might have to study up to understand every aspect of what’s been written about, but the meaning should still be there.
March 5th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
I enjoy wine.
I enjoyed the movie Sideways.
The sentence in question is insane.
March 6th, 2007 at 1:16 am
I also don’t really know what the “Sideways” reference means, and I’m in the wine biz and I like that movie! Maybe it refers to the “spit bucket” scene…?
I write a lot of back labels and tasting notes for my wines, and I desperately try not to be too precious, while at the same time trying not to be too hip for the room. It’s a fine line…
August 20th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Most of the time blogs don’t carry alot of information and just made for time pass. But I think your blog is the one where I have learned many things with your practicles and experiences. Thanks
September 1st, 2007 at 2:24 am
hello friends first of all I want to know how to make this type blog. I want to make a this type blog where people come can disscuss and give us his opinion than we get more knowledge. http://www.weightlossdietpillz.com
November 29th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Mr. Shriver is among a very large group of marginal wine writers. There really aren’t many “great” wine writers. A great wine writer has got to be a kind of journalistic poet writing about taste. Most wine writers, and food critics, too- are like fine artists who can’t quite get the eyes correct when drawing/painting a person. Not many folks can. But it’s not a sin to try. Mr. Shriver’s sin is mixing film references with his tasting notes. It’s like mixing metaphors in a novel. It just doesn’t work, and tends to upset people. “Smidgen” is also one of those words that when a reader sees it in print he/she might be forgiven for saying “how unfortunate”. In addition, “Sideways” is an abysmal film notable only for its accurate portrayal of Pinot Noir. Movie characters don’t “lurk” in wine bottles, even those characters from films about wine. Perhaps a more effective version of Mr. Shriver’s controversial sentence might be something akin to: “The fruit is hardly noticable and when noticed-barely palatable; the texture is soft like a squid or an old, mottled, slightly large and spiney jellyfish. When appreciating the bouquet one is reminded of the D-Day Landing sequence in Private Ryan so quiet, with a smidgen of bullets and violence lurking in the finish that is so important to a good wine. ”
December 21st, 2007 at 6:39 pm
[…] about esthetics, the esthetics of flavor, smells, bottles, labels, pouring, drinking, and all the little pleasures associated with enjoying wine. Perhaps some winemakers and marketers are concerned that adding […]
May 20th, 2013 at 2:14 am
My dream would not be just one place. Just having the money and ability to travel and see it all.
May 25th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
I truly get pleasure from the website posting.Considerably thanks yet again. Hold writing.
June 9th, 2013 at 11:44 am
The engine was produced by White. 386 cubic inch six-cylinder gas engine. 147 hp. six.3:1 compression. I believe the Israelis even now possess a few in service.
June 9th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Just added this internet site to my personal favorites. I get satisfaction from reading through the blogs as perfectly as hope you retain them returning!
July 11th, 2013 at 7:37 am
Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an extremely remarkable opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this blog. It is often so pleasant and as well , full of a lot of fun for me and my office colleagues to search your website at a minimum 3 times per week to learn the fresh guidance you will have. And lastly, I am just certainly impressed with your superb methods you serve. Certain 3 tips in this post are completely the most beneficial we have ever had.
August 1st, 2013 at 8:04 am
Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is fantastic, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about The World& .
August 7th, 2013 at 9:02 am
Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about The World& .
October 7th, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Wow, awesome blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is wonderful, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about The World& .
December 4th, 2013 at 4:51 am
This page certainly has all of the info I wanted about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.
December 26th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
It is our viewpoint in out conduct frequently changes our viewpoint. Sometimes this alteration is good and sometimes this change is bad but it is our viewpoint that influences the way we feel.
December 12th, 2016 at 10:25 pm
As well as Amazon.com waited the side of business despite the incorrect marketing element and the troubles faced with
return.
December 23rd, 2019 at 6:37 am
Yes, I know about them writers!
December 23rd, 2019 at 6:38 am
But I assume you have never tasted a character from a movie in your wine, right?
March 24th, 2021 at 4:39 am
Kris George in what looks like the fight of the night. Unbeaten heavyweight Paul Gallen will be the underdog against former WBA Heavyweight World Champion Lucas ‘Big Daddy’ Browne Tszyu vs Hogan live who is considered arguably the biggest puncher in the history of Australian boxing. The six-round slugfest headlines an incredibly strong card featuring Liam Wilson v Francis Chua, Jack Brubaker v Steven Spark, Kye MacKenzie v Bruno Tarimo and Lenny Zappavigna v Danny Kennedy.
June 12th, 2021 at 1:21 am
puppies for sale,pug puppies for sale in oregon,pug puppies for sale in az,pug puppies for sale in va,pug puppies near mepugs for sale,pug puppies for sale,pugs for sale near me,cheap pugs for sale,pug puppies for sale near me teacup pug [ We breed with exception. We are engaged in the breeding of Pug puppy for sale, which is the most desired bulky puppy. of having. At the moment our cattery is one of the biggest in the USA who produced these valuable Pug puppies. All our Pug puppy for sale are transferred according to the law with documentation and all our Pug puppy and puppies are with registration AKC. As a family, we have loved, cared, breed, and lived with different kinds of puppies for over 10 years, quite an experience. We do not consider ourselves concerned with earning money. All our Pug puppies are raised at home in a family/friendly environment making our Pug puppies completely at ease with other pets.pugs for sale,pugs for sale near me,cheap pugs for sale,pug puppies for sale,pug puppies for sale near me.
https://pugslandbreeder.company.com
June 29th, 2021 at 1:32 am
https://savannahbengal.company.com/
August 26th, 2021 at 3:00 pm
Best Merchant Cash Advance Leads are exclusive Leads addressed to you Merchant Cash Advance Leads is the Qualified MCA Leads Data provider as a firm in the entire globe.
October 25th, 2022 at 3:32 am
Flormar Lightweight Lip Powder is a lip powder that gives a matte appearance without drying and aggravating the lips.
November 29th, 2022 at 6:17 am
Excellent and decent post. It is brilliant blog. I like the way you express information to us. Thanks for such post and please keep it up.Akatsuki Jacket
August 1st, 2023 at 8:31 am
Excellent and very informative content. i love the way you explain. Thankyou for this information. Almondcoupons
October 6th, 2023 at 5:38 am
Newborn hamper gifts are special bundles of joy designed to welcome a new addition to the family. These hampers typically contain a combination of baby essentials like clothing, diapers, baby care products, and sometimes sweet treats or keepsakes for the parents to cherish.
October 15th, 2023 at 11:32 pm
Cheap VPS Hosting refers to a hosting service that offers Virtual Private Servers at an extremely affordable price point. These hosting plans are designed to be budget-friendly while still providing a reliable platform for users to host websites, applications, or other online projects. While cost-effective, it’s essential to ensure that the hosting service meets the required performance and support standards.
November 30th, 2023 at 8:00 am
Morley Burnaby homes for salerefers to residential properties available for purchase in the Morley neighborhood of Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada. Morley is a specific area within the larger city of Burnaby, and it’s known for its diverse housing options and attractive location.
December 19th, 2023 at 3:28 am
A Maniküretisch mit Absaugung is a table designed for manicure treatments, and it includes an integrated dust extraction system to keep the workspace clean and safe.
December 21st, 2023 at 12:57 am
A friseurstuhl vintage adds a nostalgic ambiance to the salon. These chairs often have a classic design and can be antique or retro-styled. They are designed to be comfortable and allow the hairdresser easy access to the client’s hair.
January 8th, 2024 at 6:44 am
Transform scrap copper into valuable assets with We Buy Dead Stocks. Our commitment to fair pricing and environmental responsibility ensures that selling your scrap copper is not only profitable but also eco-friendly. Join the ranks of satisfied sellers and experience the difference.
February 2nd, 2024 at 5:14 am
You will be empowered to enjoy bug-free indoor and outdoor settings if you understand how these devices operate, their capabilities, and the factors to take into account when making your selection. With the correct bug zapper, you can take back your summertime evenings and enjoy every second of it without having to deal with annoying buzzing insects.
February 23rd, 2024 at 3:03 am
These packages symbolize the essence of compassion, community, and the spiritual significance of sharing blessings with those in need. In this comprehensive exploration, we will delve into the diverse world of Ramadan Grocery and Ration Packages, emphasizing their role in making the sacred season a time of abundance and support.