A marketing theoretician is a blogger, author, or speaker who writes and speaks about marketing, but doesn’t actually DO marketing.

My advice is to read books and blogs and attend seminars and webinars by people who are marketing practitioners — actually doing marketing in the real world — either planning and writing campaigns, or marketing their own products.

I would also advise you to AVOID reading books and attending lectures by marketing theoreticians.

Why?

Marketing, unlike physics, is not a subject in which theory is particularly valuable: often, what a theoretician thinks will work and says will work … does NOT in fact actually work.

Conversely, marketing campaigns that theoreticians would grade a D or F often pull like gangbusters in the real world.

So let me ask, fellow marketing bloggers, speakers, and authors ….

Are you a marketing theoretician or a marketing practitioner — or both?

Whom do you read and listen to — theoreticians or practitioners — and why?

Walmart’s slogan is “Save Money. Live Better.”

Now Walmart can help you die better, too — or at least cheaper: According to an article in Advertising Age (11/9/09, p. 10), the retail giant is now selling caskets and other funeral supplies on its web sites.

Costco and Amazon also sell coffins online. Traditionally coffins are sold by funeral homes as part of the funeral package.

Naturally, a spokesperson for the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) said buying coffins online is risky business; if the item is damaged, it may not be possible to fix or replace it in time for the funeral.

The main appeal of buying a casket online is low cost: some online vendors sell pine boxes starting at $200. Walmart has a “Dad Remembered” (how nice) model at $895.

I’m going to skip buying my coffin at Walmart or anywhere else: like 36% of Americans, I’m going to be cremated.

Fortunately for me, Walmart sells low-priced urns, too.

Are you spending too much time studying and reading about Internet marketing or freelancing ? and not enough time actually doing it and getting your business off the ground? Then apply the 25-25-50 rule.

The 25-25-50 rule says that to master a skill or process, and put what you learn into practical action, you must divide your time as follows:

>> No more than 25% of your time is spent studying ? i.e., reading books, going to boot camps, attending workshops, listening to tapes in your car.

>> No more than 25% of your time is spent observing ? watching what successful people in your field are already doing; e.g., if you want to become a direct mail copywriter, this means reading and analyzing the direct mail you get in your mail box each day.

>> At least 50% of your time is spent actually DOING the thing you are studying and observing ? e.g., if you want to sell information products on the Internet, you are creating your first product ? designing your Web site ? or building your list.

I have been giving presentations for decades, and most of my seminar attendees say I’m pretty good at it.

In all that time I’ve had only a couple that were so-so, and only one that was an absolute bomb: a webinar I gave only a few weeks ago.

In this instance, I made the apparent error of showing some offline marketing in a webinar about online marketing.

I was making the point that most of what worked in offline direct response (DR) works spectacularly well online.

But today’s new breed of young marketers don’t believe that.

Several audience members were offended that I showed them direct mail letters in an online marketing presentation, and said it indicated I was old fashioned and out of date.

So if you give seminars or webinars, my advice is as follows: If you are talking about online marketing, show nothing from the offline world, as relevant and powerful as it may be.

Telling the audience that it’s relevant doesn’t work. They are wearing blinders that won’t come off.

The webinar sponsor said I was lazy because I had obviously repurposed slides from another talk.

DUH!

Those slides are treasures — perfect examples of important principles. Why on Earth would I not use them?

Now I know why: my audience cannot make the mental leap to transfer great ideas from one medium or industry to another medium or industry.

And speaker beware: yours probably can’t either.

The subtitle of Erik Qualman’s new book “Socialnomics” states that “social media transforms the way we live and do business.”

Really?

I can’t think of a single way in which social media has transformed my life or my business.

Has it transformed yours?

Qualman says that social media is the new inbox.

For me, my e-mail inbox is the new inbox.

He also says that “Are you on Facebook?” has become the equivalent to “May I have your phone number?”

When I deal with clients, customers, vendors, and prospects, I ask for their phone number and e-mail address.

I don’t ask whether they are on Facebook.

How about you?

Source: Target Marketing, 11/09, p. 14.

Newspapers are dying not only because readership is dying off, but also because few journalism students have any incentive to work for them.

When I graduated college, writing for a newspaper was glamorous — a dream come true.

After all, Superman … Clark Kent … was a newspaper reporter!

Even though I didn’t have a journalism degree (I majored in chemical engineering), I sent letters and resumes to 300 newspapers.

I got only one interview — the Associated Press in Buffalo, NY — and they didn’t hire me.

Today, if you graduate with a B.S. in journalism, you have no incentive to write for a newspaper.

It isn’t glamorous — print media are moribund — and to add insult to injury, it pays poorly vs. the Internet.

According to an article in the Folio: Superbook 2009 (p. 9), the average salary of a journalism major going to work for a daily newspaper (where pay is much higher than weeklies) is $28,000.

Beginning TV journalists don’t fare much better, with an average salary of $29,300.

The highest paying job for journalism majors is online, where the average salary is $37,400 — 33% higher than newspapers pay.

Is there ANYONE reading this blog who writes for newspapers or wants to?

If so, given the decline of the medium and the lousy pay — why?

You always read the old rule ?use serif type which is easier to read than sans serif.?

That may be true in print but it?s not online.

Reason: the lower resolution of the screen vs. print renders serif imperfectly, making it less attractive and more difficult than sans serif to read.

With that in mind, here are the best fonts for online marketing:

>> For e-mail marketing messages, use either 12-point Arial or Verdana.

>> Do not use Times Roman for web pages ? it?s a serif type and difficult to read online.

>> Recommended typefaces for web sites include Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, and other popular san serif fonts.

>> If your web pages are too light to read on screen or when printed, use a boldface font like Helvetica Bold Condensed.

>> The most common error in web page design is using too small a type size. Use at least 12-point type. Even 16-point won?t look awkward, and larger is easier to read than smaller.

>> For web page headlines, use Arial Bold in 2 or more point sizes larger than the body copy.

Do you have other fonts you like better? Or disagree with any of the above?

1–You play the hand you’re dealt.

2–Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

3–There is no “try.” There is only do or not do. (Yoda)

4–It’s not just what happens to you; it’s also how you handle it.

5–Be happy while you’re living, for you’re a long time dead. (Scottish proverb)

6–Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

7–Do something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.

8–Life is unfair.

9–Be second, not first; the pioneers are the ones who get arrows in their backs.

10–Live below your means.